When we're angry, it's because we think we need to protect ourselves from some threat.

We forget that a misbehaving child is not a threat, just a confused or upset young human with an immature brain. We forget that we're escalating the drama by acting in a threatening way ourselves. We forget that our responsibility as a parent is to act like a grown-up, calmly coaching our child so they can learn, grow, and develop the ability to regulate their own emotions and behavior.

When your child's behavior sends you into your own temper tantrum, you'll be sure that your child is the problem. But any time you "lose it" that's a sign that you're triggered.