Early Teen
Age 13-15 years
Parenting an early teen is a lot like parenting a toddler in some ways. The developmental stage is all about moving toward independence, not always gracefully or responsibly.
We can't change our child's basic personality, and the outside environment has a profound effect, from peers to school to media. But how we parent makes the critical difference in how our teen acts, from how rebellious he is to whether she throws emotional tantrums, from whether he gets enough sleep to how studious she is.
If we can manage our own emotions, extend respect, offer appropriate freedom, and maintain intimacy and communication -- a tall order for most parents -- we can be pleasantly surprised by how rewarding the teen years can be. The rewards are huge, as we watch our child transform and blossom in front of our eyes.
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Game Plan for Peaceful Parenting Your Early Teen
So your child is becoming a teenager, and you're wondering whether you can use peaceful parenting to raise a terrific teen who's responsible, considerate, and shows good judgment, at least most of the time? Yes! In fact, this approach will help you stay more connected with your child, so parenting is easier.
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Navigate Your Teen’s Emerging Independence
Read More"Our 13 year old wants to spend all her time with her friends. What happened to our family?"
Setting Limits with Preteens and Teens
"This weekend, I asked my 13 year old son (who does not like to shower) to shower on Sunday morning. He whinged and finally committed (after I expressed my frustration) to do so before bed. Then in the evening, he claimed he did not recall making a commitment and would not shower the same evening, but would do so Monday am (which he ultimately did). Besides this going against basic hygiene needs, it broke what I consider a promise and his obstinacy and lack of respect for me really got me worked up. This looks to be a deep laziness and unwillingness to put effort in to doing anything he doesn't care to do/ contribute to. I'm at my wits end and don't feel inclined to engage with him anymore until he "comes to the party."
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Beyond Discipline for Teens
The teen years are notoriously challenging for parents. Much like the toddler years, kids sometimes seem intent on doing exactly the opposite of what we ask. And for some of the same reasons: Their job now is to find their sea legs as a person, to shape an identity, to sort out what's important to them. Their integrity would be compromised by simply doing what we ask because we ask it. They need to believe it's the right thing for THEM.
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Want a Trustworthy 14 Year Old?
I had a major Aha! moment, one summer when my almost 14 year old daughter had some friends over for a sleepover. Now, this was the second night in a row of sleepovers, which is not something we normally do. I agreed reluctantly, after extracting several promises from my daughter, including her reassurance that the girls would have the lights off and actually try to go to sleep at 11pm. Not only did they have to get up for summer camp at 7:30am, but I personally wanted to be in bed at 11pm.
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Best Books on Parenting Teens
PLEASE NOTE: These books are Amazon links with photos of the books. If you are not seeing them on your page, it may be that your browser is not picking them up. Please try a different browser.
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