Anxiety

Dr. Laura,
My six year old (mildly autistic, high anxiety, but very high functioning) has become violently afraid of bees. I'm not sure where the fear comes from; he's never been stung and his father and I have never shown any fear toward them. He has always loved the outdoors. But the new fear of bees has him in a panic and no longer enjoying time outside.

Do you have any ideas of how we can help me make him comfortable and less fearful? I'm totally at a loss at how to deal with it. Thank you!

My daughter is almost six years old and has developed this need to spit when nervous or being "grossed out". She has told me, upon my insistence that she explain, that she needs to spit if she sees the toothpaste on toothbrushes in the bathroom, a junk drawer full of stuff, a messy dresser. This happens several times a day.

But also recently when she was playing violin for my parents I noticed that she had a mouthful of spit and went to spit it out right after she finished playing (that's why I am including nervousness as a cause as well).

She spit the other day and I insisted on her telling me why and she confided that it was my dresser. I asked her to come over to my dresser and look at it--she got a tissue, in case she needed to spit, and I said, wait, wait, don't spit just yet--I want you to see that this dresser is just fine--feel the wood--not dirty, I handed her some objects off it and then we opened the "messy" drawer-- I took out some objects that were in there, a wrapped cough drop, some hair ties, some balm, and asked her just to hold them and see that they were not anything "gross"--she did, but clearly just wanted me to shut the drawer and also was spitting in her tissue.

I am also concerned that she is now nervous about spitting in front of me. I have not reprimanded her--only insisted a few times that she let me know what it was that was bothering her--not in an angry way, but perhaps not being able to disguise my deepening concern.

She does have one other "tic". When she gets wound up with an imaginary story where she is telling it or drawing it, she sort of needs a "stick" or magic marker or something to hold onto, which she twitches back and forth.

Other than that, she is outgoing, loving, trusting, confident, with the "normal" bouts of the opposite of all of those traits! But I do not know if what I am doing is a correct approach or not--or if we need to see someone professionally--please help!

Dr. Laura,

My 7 year old is afraid of the dark and of going to sleep. I have tried a million different things, but no one is getting any sleep and we both usually end up in tears, or me mad. Do we need to see a doctor? Its been months and it just seems to be getting worse.

My daughter was just diagnosed with selective mutism, although I'm not sure the diagnosis fits because she DOES talk, albeit not a lot, outside the house. The developmental pediatrician said that it is caused by anxiety, and that's what my question is about.

Most of the time, my dd doesn't seem anxious. She loves going to school, has never had any separation anxiety, talks about school happily, says she's not nervous or anxious (although I'm not sure she knows what those words mean). But she does complain of frequent stomach aches and being tired and in new situations she chews on her clothing. Is this enough to diagnose anxiety?

The developmental psychologist has suggested that we meet with a child psychologist. What would such a person do?

Thanks.