Toddlers

Age 15-36 months

So your precious infant has somehow grown into a walking (or at least toddling), talking (or at least trying to string three words together) human being, who enchants you with his big heart and drives you crazy with his mule-headedness. Toddlers can be a handful, but if you can see things from his perspective, and support him as he takes his first steps into autonomy, toddlerhood can be terrific!

Start Here:

Toddlers: Your Game Plan for the Terrific Twos

"The first three years of life establishes the blueprints for all of our future relationships." -John Bowlby

Taming Toddler Tantrums

Temper tantrums are normal for toddlers, even legendary. Toddlers feel so passionately about everything, and they simply don't have enough frontal cortex capacity yet to control their strong emotions when they're upset.

Easing the Transition to the Toddler Bed

So your toddler is giving up the crib? Or moving out of the family bed? You’ve been to the store and picked out the cutest toddler bed? All of you are totally excited?

Feeding Your Toddler

Want to help your toddler develop healthy eating habits? Then offer him only healthy food. There's no reason your toddler needs sweets or junk food at all. But even more important than what your toddler eats is his relationship with food. You want him to be in charge of how much he eats, and of getting it into his own mouth.

Discipline: Managing Your Toddler so you can enjoy him

How to manage a toddler? And stay positive?! Believe it or not, Yes you can!

Child-Led Potty Learning Without a Power Struggle

Moving from diapers to being self-sufficiently able to use the toilet is a natural process. Humans have been doing it for a long time. They all get out of diapers sooner or later.

So you don't actually need to "toilet train" your child. Instead, set up conditions so your child can learn. Your goal is to make it as easy and effortless as possible. Think of this as a process of learning that unfolds over time, like all other learning and mastery.

Your Toddler or Preschooler and TV

If you want a child who can spend long hours entertaining herself (which will afford you many breaks and make you the envy of all your friends with children); and if you want your child to have the best chance of reaching her educational potential, be able to listen and retain what she learns and need to spend less time doing homework, studying for tests, stressing about school in general; then don’t turn on the TV for the first 2 to 3 years. It is much easier than you imagine. But once you begin using TV, it’s harder.
-Janet Lansbury

Help Your Toddler Learn to Put Himself to Sleep

Toddlers don't seem to have an off switch. Often, when they're tired, they just reverberate faster, like an over-wound toy, until they crash.

Helping Your Toddler with Separation Anxiety

Dreading leaving your toddler with the babysitter or at daycare and want to prepare him?

Routines that Toddlers Can Understand

Young children function best with structured schedules. Toddlers and preschoolers, especially, feel small in the world. Most things happen TO them. They crave predictability, knowing what will happen, because it gives them some sense of control. A predictable routine allows children to feel safe, and to develop a sense of mastery in handling their lives.

Why Every Home Needs a Calm-Down Corner

Sometimes, despite your best efforts to express understanding, your child gets emotionally dysregulated. When you realize that your child is getting to that dangerously over-wrought place, suggest that the two of you take some “cozy time”—snuggle up and read a book. Often the connection and the shift to his “thinking brain” will help your child re-regulate.

14 Tips for Gentle Weaning

The verb "To Wean" comes from a Hebrew word meaning to ripen. So when the time is ripe (or maybe when the child is ripe?!) the baby becomes a child who no longer needs to nurse. That process is designed by Mother Nature to be an organic, natural one, like any other kind of ripening.

Discipline for Young Toddlers

Hi Dr. Laura,
I am in great need of help. I have a 14 month old and I don't know how I'm supposed to discipline/set limits and enforce them with him. I've read a lot of your articles, but it seems they apply to older toddlers, those that can communicate verbally with you. How am I supposed to get through to my son when I say "No, don't touch that" (like the laptop), or "No, that's dangerous" (like reaching up for the stove knobs), or "No that belongs there" (like pulling anything in his reach down like diapers on a shelf, a hanging kitchen towel, or opening drawers and taking everything out), etc. and he just keeps doing it?

I know I'm doing it the wrong way (I say no too often, I get so frustrated I find myself going to slap his hand) but I don't know how to apply the right way to a child his age. When I say no he thinks I'm playing a game even though clearly I'm upset. And I don't think comprehension is an issue because he understands so much - I'll say let's go wash your hands and he'll walk to the bathroom, I say time to eat, he'll walk to the high chair.

He's not speaking yet and I expect it may take him a bit longer just because he's learning two languages at once (I speak to him in spanish), and I'm told that's to be expected when they're learning more than one language. My mom says I was the same way - it took me a bit to start speaking but when I did I was speaking both languages. He's starting to signal though (point at things).

So how am I supposed to do this? And without punishment? I say no, and he just goes and does exactly what I told him not to do. Repeatedly I say No and repeatedly he just does it. I've tried getting down to his level and telling him no in a calm way but still he just thinks it's fun I guess.

He has started doing a tiny bit of the typical tantrums when he doesn't get his way (for example, he wants to go outside and can't), and I've read from your articles that to try to prevent tantrums one should give him power over as many decisions as possible (like what to wear, eat, etc.) But again, I find this advice for older children. If I ask him what he wants (say, show him two outfits or two snack choices), he doesn't pick one, he just stares at me or goes off and does something else. I don't think he's old enough yet to understand that I'm asking him his opinion and for him to choose an option.

So basically, I just don't understand how I'm supposed to apply positive discipline to a child his age. What am I supposed to do when I tell him no and he doesn't listen to me?

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Parent Reviews

Karina

Liz McIntosh

Makchoon

Chantal Harrison

Andrei

Lisa Fernandez

Jennifer B

Dear Dr. Laura Markham! I am a mother of 2 boys - 16 and 7 years old. I am extremely grateful for all the emotional and relational education that you provide us and also for your incredible loving energy to support our evolution as parents, as human beings. I took your course 3 years ago. Although the challenges of the parent-child relationship change almost every year, your parenting principles are equally valuable and effective. It's hard to reprogram the emotional-behavioral pattern learned in my own childhood... so I find it very helpful to go back to your teachings to regain trust and patience as a parent every time new challenges trigger my anxiety. To have more clarity, to reset my energy. Thank you!!

Janina-Madalina Dobrescu

Dana Questad