School and Homework

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Preparing Your Child for the New School Year

Here in the United States, the last weeks of summer are upon us, and the new school year is already starting for some children. Whether you can’t wait till your kids are back in school or dread the more regimented days ahead, there’s one thing you can count on: Back to School is always a big transition.

Preparing Your Child for Kindergarten

It seems crazy that parents should even have to think about getting kids ready for kindergarten, academically speaking. Of course you'll want to prepare your child emotionally. (Here's an article on that.) But academically? Isn't that what kindergarten is for, to get kids ready for first grade?

Twelve Tips to Help Your Child Adjust to School

So she’s off to school every morning now, like a big kid. But instead of the exuberance you expected, you find many days -- especially Monday -- starting with tears, or maybe a tummy-ache. She isn't faking. Anxiety affects the body, and can result in an actual upset stomach, especially in children. But don’t worry, it’s not unusual for kids to need a little extra help adjusting to the start of school. Here are 12 tips that will help.

10 Tips for Peaceful Classroom Teaching

"I'm a teacher of 4-5 year olds. I made the decision that I wouldn't do time-outs with kids anymore and now I'd never go back. I always knew the teacher sets the tone for the classroom, but the results of my no time-out experiment blew me away. I was more respectful with the kids and their needs as a classroom management tool, and then as their needs were acknowledged, the kids became more respectful to each other. I was forced to address the real problems behind behaviors, and kids started to try to solve problems themselves in real ways too, not just to get the result they wanted. Basically, I showed I cared more about them as people and they started to feel respected and were more respectful to each other. If I ever get the opportunity to do a PhD in education, it will be on this topic in some way. That's how amazing my results have been." - Erin

How Much To Help With Homework?

Dr Laura,
With the start of school, the struggle to do homework has begun. My oldest daughter is in 2nd grade and the homework is minimal right now. I have read the instructions from her teacher, telling her that her teacher expects them to do their homework on their own and the parents check it. She will not listen.

Just this morning she was filling in her Reading Journal and she is asking me to tell her the letters in the author's name. Is she just too lazy to look at the book for herself? Is she just wanting my undivided attention? Does this have to do with maturity?

This becomes a yelling session for me...it doesn't help that I am pregnant too. I am so frustrated and I want her to want to do her homework and "like" school.

I know I could do a reward chart of some sort but for whatever reason those do not seem to last with my daughter. Everything is a negotiation with her. What I can do to make this easier?

Choosing Preschool: Montessori vs Gifted?

Dr. Laura,
Deciding if a private gifted school or Montessori is the best choice for my very smart, soon to be 3 year old boy who is currently in daycare and has that odd birthday where he will need to start kindergarten late. Would love your thoughts on Montessori.

Helping Your Child Adjust to Middle School

When your child starts middle school, they're faced with all kinds of adjustments, from increased academic pressure, to finding their way to different classes all day long in a bigger building, to shifting relationships with peers. That means they have bigger problems to solve than they did in elementary school.

The Inner Compass: Reframing the Traffic Light Reward/Punishment Systems Used In School

Dear Dr. Laura,

I have been trying to shift my parenting from the rewards/punishment system to a more intuitive, connected way. We are doing really well and I feel more connected to my children.

My issue is that my daughter goes to a school where they have the traffic light system for behaviours. She is 'well behaved' and almost always on the green light or even the gold star for exceptional behaviour.

At home, I no longer reward/punish but I did for so long that the words are still ingrained in her psyche. Today she asked if I could make her a traffic light system for her 'good choices'. This came about as she did her homework (without being prompted to) this morning. I tried to explain that the best 'reward' was the satisfaction of getting it done and making the choice herself.... but she still wants tangible recognition that she is making 'good choices'.

I explained that I wouldn't be judging her behaviour so wouldn't use the chart. However she was so insistent that she is now making the chart and I said she was welcome to use it herself.

I just feel disappointed that despite our shift in perspective at home, despite all the encouragement we give (without the empty 'good girl/well done' type praise), she still feels the need for some sort of judgement/tangible acknowledgement of her choices. We are a loving family and she now (for the past two years) gets a lot of validation and acceptance for who she is; not what she does.

I feel a bit at a loss for what to do. I want her to feel that making the right choice is reward enough.

When Your Child is Anxious About Back-To-School

"Dr. Laura...... My eight year old daughter tends to be anxious. None of her friends will be in her class next year and she is feeling very nervous about the new teacher as well. Any pointers on what I can do to help her prep emotionally?"

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Parent Reviews

Karina

Liz McIntosh

Makchoon

Chantal Harrison

Andrei

Lisa Fernandez

Jennifer B

Dear Dr. Laura Markham! I am a mother of 2 boys - 16 and 7 years old. I am extremely grateful for all the emotional and relational education that you provide us and also for your incredible loving energy to support our evolution as parents, as human beings. I took your course 3 years ago. Although the challenges of the parent-child relationship change almost every year, your parenting principles are equally valuable and effective. It's hard to reprogram the emotional-behavioral pattern learned in my own childhood... so I find it very helpful to go back to your teachings to regain trust and patience as a parent every time new challenges trigger my anxiety. To have more clarity, to reset my energy. Thank you!!

Janina-Madalina Dobrescu

Dana Questad