How to Stop Yelling & Start Connecting (Skill-Building Bundle)
Wouldn't it be amazing to simply stop yelling, even when you're angry? You can still get your child to comply with your directives. In fact, children are more cooperative when parents are more regulated.
It's completely possible. No matter how much you yell, no matter how your child acts.
Hard work? The hardest there is. And it takes time. But the results are priceless. You and your child will be much closer, which means he'll want to behave better. And watching you manage your emotions will help him learn to regulate his own emotions better.
The resources in this parenting bundle will guide you through the steps to move beyond yelling and into more connection and cooperation.
$59.00 USD
View CartAdd to CartThis self-paced mini-course gives you:
- Respectful Voice Plan & Chart
- 3 fun and inspiring Printables
- 1 Cheatsheet
- 1 Audio with Transcript
- 2 Worksheets
- 3 Articles that walk you through the process
- PLUS special bonus: Self-Regulation Essentials "4 Minutes To Calm Audio" and the "Stop-Drop-Breathe" mini-poster!
The resources in this parenting bundle will guide you through the steps to move beyond yelling and into more connection and cooperation.
Are you ready to create a more peaceful family? Let's do this!
Step #1:
Download your Respectful Voice Chart & Plan.
Print out this plan and post your chart. Your child will be drawing a star, or using a sticker, on the days when you don't yell.
Step #2:
Listen to "4 Minutes To Calm" and the Troubleshooting Audios
- You will love "4 Minutes To Calm" which is designed to help you calm down when you're upset.
- Don't miss the Troubleshooting audio, which explains how to talk with your child about the Respectful Voice Chart.
- (Transcripts included for both audios).
Step #3:
Post your Printables
Give yourself more support to stop yelling and start connecting by posting these inspirational printables:
- Self Regulation Printable - Tools to calm yourself.
- Your Child's Brain When You Stay Calm - Just a reminder that you're sculpting your child's brain with every repeated interaction.
- Preventive Maintenance Printable - Your plan for connection and cooperation with your child.
- Stop, Drop and Breathe! - Learn how to use your Pause Button.
Step #4:
Print Your "Quick Guide To Stop Yelling" Cheatsheet
Post this Cheatsheet where you can see it, to help you stay on track with your goal to find alternatives to yelling.
Step #5:
Download your Articles
Download these articles to read and re-read any time you need inspiration!
- Your 10-Point Plan to Stop Yelling
- 10 Simple Ways To Improve Your Parenting - This article will help you connect more!
- The Secret of Not Yelling When You're Having a Bad Day.
Step #6:
Print out your Worksheets
- New Year's Resolution Plan- How to Keep Your Resolution!
- Pause and Reflect Worksheet - Each time you end up raising your voice, use this worksheet to bewtter understand what pushed your buttons and heal the belief system that's triggering you.
Step #7:
Talk with your Child
After you listen to the audio, explain your new Chart to your child or children. "I want to use a more respectful voice and not yell. No one deserves to be yelled at. I might not be perfect, but I'm working hard to improve. Will you help me track my progress with smiley faces every day on this chart?"
Step #8:
Use Your Pause Button
Start each day with the intention to NOTICE when you start to get irritated. Every time that happens, use your PAUSE button: STOP, DROP (your agenda, just for now) and BREATHE.
Step #9:
Once you're calmer, try a Do Over.
Remember, let go of trying to teach a lesson at this moment, and instead take positive action from this calmer place. If you try to teach right now, you'll find yourself shaming. It's not a teachable moment until everyone is calm and reconnected.
Instead, shift yourself back to calm, and then take positive action from this calmer place. Your positive action at this moment might be a do-over to get everyone back on track, by restating your correction in a more positive tone. It might mean you apologize, if you were raising your voice. It might mean you get your cranky child laughing, and if that doesn't work, support her through a good cry so that you can all have a better day. It might mean you blow off the dishes and just snuggle under the covers with your kids and a pile of books until everyone feels better. Just take one step toward helping everyone feel, and do, better -- including you!
Step #10:
Have a discussion every night.
Every evening (as described in the "Troubleshooting" audio) ask your child or children whether you've earned a smiley face for using a respectful voice that day.
If yes, let them draw it on your Respectful Voice Chart while you reflect on what helped you with this terrific achievement! This is something to celebrate!
If not, no shame, no blame, no worries, no arguments! I know, it doesn’t feel good. Give yourself some compassion. You did not fail. You are just learning what you need to do to succeed! Remember, Thomas Edison’s records showed that he tried 2774 times before he was able to light up his electric light bulb. You will be spreading light in your home a lot faster than that.
If you think you did not raise your voice, go back to the Troubleshooting Audio, so you know how to respond. Then, have a good discussion (as described in the audio), so your whole family learns something about respectful relating that will help you tomorrow!
The bad news? This is hard. It takes tremendous self-control, and you'll find yourself messing up over and over again. Don't give up.
The good news? It works. It gets easier and easier to stop yourself in mid-yell, and then to stop even before you open your mouth. Just keep moving in the right direction. You're re-wiring your brain. At some point, you'll realize that it’s been months since you yelled at anyone.
The better news? Your child will transform, right in front of your eyes. You'll see him working hard to control himself when he gets angry, instead of lashing out. (Yes! That's your role-modeling!) You'll see him cooperating more. And you'll see him "listen" -- when you haven't even raised your voice.
Starting new habits isn't always easy, but you've already taken the first step by joining this challenge. This isn't about perfection - it's about progress, and creating a calmer home environment one day at a time. We’ll be here supporting you every step of the way!
Wrap-Up
It's natural to get irritated at our kids when we think they should already know how to behave. But that won't help them behave better. Instead, take a deep breath, acknowledge your child's perspective, set your limit, and redirect your child's impulse into acceptable behavior. Sounds saintly, I know, and you won't always be able to pull it off. But every time you do, you'll be helping your child grow the neural pathways for a more emotionally intelligent brain. And you'll be gifting yourself a lot less drama -- and a lot more love.