In a culture that links our value to appearance and normalizes images that don’t represent most people, it’s not surprising that many adults express dissatisfaction with their bodies and that dieting is a major industry. Unfortunately, adult culture affects children, and children are also subject to constant evaluative commentary about their bodies and looks that would be considered rude if directed at adults, such as how "cute" they are or whether they are big or small for their age.   

Research now shows that body dissatisfaction can begin in early childhood, and eating disorders are becoming more common among both girls and boys. Even preschoolers are beginning to absorb messages about what bodies "should" look like.

Children are surrounded by unrealistic images of beauty and fitness that are carefully posed, filtered, edited, and increasingly created with AI. Social media algorithms quickly learn what captures a child's attention and then deliver a steady stream of increasingly appearance-focused content. It's no wonder that many children begin comparing themselves to impossible standards at an alarmingly young age.

The good news is that parents remain the most powerful influence on how children learn to see themselves. The way you talk about bodies, the emotional climate you create at home, and the example you set every day can protect your child from many of the unhealthy messages they'll encounter elsewhere.

A healthy body image isn't just about preventing eating disorders. It's about helping children appreciate and care for their bodies, develop confidence in who they are, and build a healthy relationship with food, exercise, and themselves.

1. Avoid evaluating anyone's body.

Children learn how to think about bodies by listening to the adults around them. When we criticize someone for being "too fat," "too skinny," or looking "old," children absorb those judgments. But constant compliments about appearance can also send an unintended message—that how someone looks is one of the most important things about them.

It's fine to notice changes ("Grandpa is getting stronger after physical therapy" or "You've grown taller!"). The goal is simply to avoid assigning value to people's appearance.

Instead, comment on qualities like kindness, perseverance, creativity, courage, or generosity.

2. Model body appreciation.

Your child watches how you talk about yourself. Try not to criticize your own body or speak about needing to lose weight.

Instead, model gratitude for what your body allows you to do.

Talk about eating nourishing foods because they give your body energy. Talk about exercise because it helps you feel stronger, calmer, and healthier—not because you're trying to become thinner.

Children who hear adults appreciating their bodies are much more likely to learn to appreciate their own.

3. Begin with empathy.

If your child says, "I'm fat," or "I'm ugly," resist the urge to immediately reassure them.

Instead, start with empathy.

  • "I wonder what happened today that made you feel that way."
  • "Something made you feel bad about your body."
  • "That sounds like a painful feeling."

Once children feel understood, they're much more likely to open up about where those feelings came from. Only then can you help them think critically about the messages they've received.

4. Help your child question cultural messages.

Ask questions whenever appearance comes up.

  • "Why do you think that character always looks perfect?"
  • "Do you think that picture might have been edited?"
  • "Who benefits when people feel unhappy about how they look?"

Help your child understand that companies make money by encouraging people to believe they need different clothes, makeup, supplements, or cosmetic procedures. Learning to question these messages makes children much less vulnerable to them.

You can even make it a game by taking turns naming things you appreciate about your bodies that have nothing to do with appearance.

5. Make movement part of family life.

Children naturally enjoy moving their bodies. Keep that joy alive.

Go for hikes, ride bikes, throw a ball, dance in the kitchen, swim together, or simply take family walks.

Instead of communicating that exercise is something we do to control our weight, explain that movement helps our brains and bodies feel happier, calmer, stronger, and healthier.

6. Nurture a healthy relationship with food.

Healthy eating habits begin early, so make nourishing foods the normal choice in your home.

Rather than labeling foods as "good" or "bad," help your child learn that different foods serve different purposes. Most of the time we choose foods that help our bodies grow strong and healthy, while treats can simply be enjoyed without guilt or shame.

Children also learn from watching us. Avoid dieting or criticizing your own eating. Instead, model balance, enjoyment, and listening to your body's signals of hunger and fullness.

7. Teach media literacy and create healthy digital boundaries.

Research consistently shows that greater exposure to appearance-focused media is linked with poorer body image.

Today's challenge goes beyond magazines and television. Social media platforms expose children to filtered images, unrealistic beauty standards, and an endless stream of comparison. Their algorithms often recommend increasingly extreme content about dieting, body modification, fitness, or appearance because those topics keep users engaged.

Talk regularly with your child about what they're seeing online. Help them recognize edited images and unrealistic standards. Encourage them to follow people who celebrate diverse bodies, talents, and interests rather than appearance alone.

Delaying social media and keeping devices out of bedrooms reduces the likelihood that children will spend late-night hours scrolling through comparison-inducing content when they're tired, emotionally vulnerable, and without an adult to help them process what they're seeing. Both are powerful ways to protect body image and emotional health.

8. Help your child appreciate what their body can do.

One of the best ways to build a healthy body image is to focus on function rather than appearance.

Celebrate what bodies allow us to do.

  • "Your legs carried you all over the playground."
  • "Your hands built that amazing tower."
  • "Your lungs helped you climb that hill."

When children learn to value their bodies for their strength, abilities, resilience, and health, appearance naturally becomes less important.

9. Remember that connection is one of your greatest protections.

Children who feel deeply accepted at home are less likely to base their self-worth on appearance or seek validation from strangers online.

When children know they are loved exactly as they are, they're better able to resist the constant messages telling them they need to look different in order to be enough.

We can't shield our children from every unrealistic image or harmful message they'll encounter. But we can make sure the strongest voice they hear is ours—the one reminding them that their worth has never depended on how they look. It has always come from who they are.

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Research suggests that even preschoolers have increasingly negative body images. A 2016 study conducted by PACEY, the Professional Association for Childcare and Early Years in the UK, found that almost half of childcare professionals say they have witnessed body image anxiety in 6 to 10 year olds, and a quarter have observed body confidence issues in children aged 3-5 years old.

“By the age of three or four some children have already pretty much begun to make up their minds (and even hold strong views) about how bodies should look,” Dr. Jacqueline Harding, an advisor to the research group, told The Telegraph. While she advises that more study is warranted, the culprits are likely to be exactly what we think they are: “images on TV; images in story books and animations and the general chat by adults about their bodies, dieting and cosmetic surgery.” (Additional reporting in New York Magazine's The Cut by Laura June.)