Overwhelmed By Children Spaced Close Together
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Hello,
I just bought your book - Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting.
I have a 3.5yr old, two year old twins and a 5 month old. I'm finding it hard to be a good parent. My husband works 7 days a week and I work 3 days from home. I never thought I'd yell at my kids, half the time I'm so upset by the end of the night I feel bad. I'm trying my best to change, it's hard when your alone all the time.
My goodness, you have four children under the age of four. One of them is an infant. There is no mother in the world who would not feel overwhelmed by that.
My advice is to let everything go but love. Seriously. Think in terms of emotional nutrients. Give them to yourself and your kids to keep everyone emotionally nourished. That will help everyone feel better and be more cooperative.
BUT it will mean you feed them scrambled eggs or peanut butter on toast, and carrots out of the bag, for dinner on many nights. It will mean that you dress them in wrinkled clothes straight out of the dryer rather than ever taking the time to fold clothes. It will mean that your house will look like a whirlwind hit it half the time.
But when you have chosen to space your kids close together, you are choosing to focus on them, not on your house or appearances or whether you can find a clean teeshirt to wear. And there will STILL be many days when you just have to sit down on the floor and hold your kids and cry, because that is the way life is with so many little ones.
But if you can let go of all those things that don't really matter, and try as often as possible to love yourself and your children and let every action come from love, you will turn around in two or three years and find that you have gotten through the roughest patch and you have four cooperative, happy children.
Good luck to you!
Dr. Laura Markham
