But sometimes children misread our values. They may decide that what really matters to us is our phone. (Yes, many young children say that!) Or money. Or winning. Or getting into a good school. We might like those things, but what most of us truly care about is deeper: that our family feels close, that our child is happy, that our child becomes a person who does the right thing even when no one’s watching.
So how do we make sure our children understand our values and that we’re really teaching what matters most to us?
The truth is, kids don’t learn values from lectures. Telling them what to think — or scolding them when they’ve made a poor choice — rarely works. In fact, if they’re upset, the reasoning part of their brain shuts down, so our “teachable moments” go right past them.
That doesn’t mean we never give direct guidance. Children need to hear that their choices matter — that every action helps shape who they’re becoming and what kind of world they help create. But the most powerful learning happens through conversation, not instruction. When we ask good questions that invite reflection — and do good listening while they reflect aloud about what they think — we teach them to think ethically for themselves.
And perhaps the easiest way to start those conversations is with stories. The books we read together while children are young and searching for answers about how the world works and how to live a good life have a powerful impact. It’s one of the simplest and most meaningful ways to nurture your child’s moral compass.
Here are some I'd recommend. If you have a book you think I should add to this list, please email me.
Books to Teach Kids Values
PLEASE NOTE: These books are Amazon links with photos of the books. If you are not seeing them on your page, it may be that your browser is not picking them up. Please try a different browser. Enjoy!
